Kaji | カジ (shatteredtenshi) wrote,
Kaji | カジ
shatteredtenshi

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Only Despair

Title: Only Despair
Author: Shattered Tenshi
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: JE
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Yokoo Wataru x Kitayama Hiromitsu, Kitayama Hiromitsu x Fujigaya Taisuke, Yokoo Wataru x Fujigaya Taisuke
Warnings: Angst, lots of unrequited love
Notes: As requested by/dedicated to kira_shadow.

From the Beginning | There was No Hope | Only Despair | And With No Love | Where is the Happiness | For the Three of Us




Only Despair
By Shattered Tenshi


Wataru wondered if he went too far. Taisuke was still his best friend after all. Maybe he should have been a little more considerate and took Taisuke out of the club before they did anything. Despite the smiles Taisuke gave him afterwards, he knew the other wasn't feeling well and was just forcing himself.

He remembered how Taisuke had tried his best to walk properly to work the following day, but wasn't successful at all. Hiromitsu had immediately given him a glare, and Wataru could only turn his head away. He definitely should have been a little more considerate, but it was too late for that.

Stretching out on his chair, Wataru wondered just how long this had been going on. He didn't keep count, and while it felt like it had been a long time, it couldn't have been that much more than a month. With that period of time, he went from being in an unrequited love to having two boyfriends. Wataru wasn't sure how he should feel.

Wataru shook his head of those thoughts when he noticed Hiromitsu entering the dressing room. A grin appeared on his face and he got up from his chair, wrapping his arms around the other. Placing his chin on Hiromitsu's shoulder, he asked, "So, where do you want to go today?"

Hiromitsu looked around for a moment – Wataru knew he was making sure Taisuke wasn't around – before shrugging slightly. "I don't mind? Do you have a place in mind or no?" Despite Wataru still hugging him, he moved towards his area of the dressing room, picking up his bag.

Chuckling as he followed along, Wataru suggested, "How about billiards? It's been a while since I played, and a while since we faced each other. What do you say?" He brushed his lips against Hiromitsu's ear, but pulled back when Hiromitsu grumbled slightly in protest.

Reaching into his bag and pulling out a bottle of water, Hiromitsu nodded his head, "Sure. Billiards sound good to me. Don't whine to me when I kick your ass though." Wataru just chuckled in response and pressed a kiss on Hiromitsu's neck, once, then twice.

"Don't be so confident, Hiro," Wataru replied with a small smirk. "I've been playing with other people, and I can definitely say that I've improved since we last played against each other. You won't be disappointed," he said as he watched Hiromitsu's reflection in the mirror.

Just then, the door of the dressing room was pushed open and Hiromitsu had quickly moved away from Wataru. Wataru bit back a sigh, but it was one of the unspoken rules between them. No one else knew about this so-called-game and they wouldn't act too close in front of each other and others.

It was Taisuke who walked in and Wataru was glad to see Senga walking in as well not far behind. It was yet another unspoken rule. Ever since that day, they rarely spend time together, the three of them alone, if possible. If it was for work, that was fine, but not in the changing room.

They probably didn't want to imagine it, just how awkward it would be to be alone in a room with just the three of them. Wataru knew for sure he wouldn't know how to act towards Hiromitsu and Taisuke. After all, was there a need to put on an act when it's between the three of them?

"Ne, Wataru, are you free tonight?" Wataru turned his head and saw Taisuke bouncing towards him with a bright smile. Taisuke had never changed the way he acted towards him when the rest of the group was there. "Kento and I are going out for dinner tonight."

Wataru smiled and shook his head. "Sorry, Tai-chan. I already made plans for tonight. Maybe next time?" He ruffled Taisuke's hair and chuckled at the other's pout, but he didn't miss it; the disappointed expression that flashed in Taisuke's eyes for a second. The other must have guessed what his plans were.

"You promised then!" Taisuke exclaimed. "Next time!" He quickly turned around and ran off, calling out, "Kento, Wataru said he can't come! Do you have anyone else you want to invite?" Once they had grabbed their things, Taisuke and Senga soon left the room, giggling to themselves about something secret probably.

Noticing how everyone else was ready to leave as well, Wataru went to finish packing his bag. It was a little surprising that no one had noticed something different between him, Hiromitsu and Taisuke. Or perhaps, because they were the older three, the rest of the group thought they should just leave them alone?

Wataru wondered how long that might last though. Would this game, as it is called, continue for a long time and no one would actually notice anything? Or would it get out of a hand, towards a good or bad direction? Sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder about these things.

"Ready to go?" Suddenly, Hiromitsu was beside him, looking at him as he shifted the bag over his shoulder. Wataru glanced at Hiromitsu and grinned. He couldn't help it. The moment he set eyes on the other and was in his date mode, he would forget about everything else.

Grabbing his bag, Wataru wrapped an arm around Hiromitsu's shoulders. "Ready. So, the usual place then?" he asked as they left the room. Nikaido and Miyata who still hadn't left yet didn't say anything. It was common knowledge that Wataru was touchy with people.

Knowing better than to do anything in public, Wataru just made small talk with Hiromitsu as they made their way towards the billiards place. Luckily for them, the place wasn't that crowded, and they managed to get a table that was further back in the shop, somewhat hidden from others.

As he looked through the cues available, Wataru said with a small smirk, "You can start off if you're ready. It won't make a difference who goes first for me." He picked out two cues and started to inspect them before picking one and putting the other back in its place.

Hiromitsu snorted, "So confident. Fine, if you insist." Making sure everything was set up properly, he then aimed with his cue, bending over the table. Wataru grinned at the sight that was in front of him, but held back, knowing Hiromitsu would hate him if he did anything now.

For most parts, the game went on pretty well. Hiromitsu was leading, though not by a lot, so Wataru wasn't that worried. When they were left with only three balls on the table though, he couldn't help but get distracted now, using his cue to poke Hiromitsu's butt.

"Oi!" Hiromitsu spun around and glared at Wataru. "What was that for?" Wataru just laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Saying how Hiromitsu should focus on the game, he motioned at the table. Once Hiromitsu wasn't facing him, Wataru repeated his action.

"Stop that, Yokoo!" Hiromitsu spun around yet again. "Are you trying to distract me because you know you're going to lose? That's cheap!" Hiromitsu used his own cue and tried to poke or even stab Wataru back but the other escaped too quickly, causing him to huff in frustration.

"Nah, I'm not worried about that," Wataru said with a grin. "Hiro, you were just too tempting, bending over the table like that." He stepped closer to the other and leaned down to whisper, "Compared to billiards, I'm much more interested in something else right now..."

Hiromitsu pushed Wataru away. "You may also want to think about where we are right now. Now, stop distracting me from finishing the game. I'm going to win this for sure." He posed over the table and furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he slid his cue between his fingers a few times for the feel.

Wataru snickered, "Does that mean if you win this game, I can do whatever I want to you then? If that's the case, go ahead and win. I won't mind." He put away his cue and crossed his arms over his chest. Leaning against the wall, he just watched the other with amusement apparent on his face.

"Damn you horny bastard," Hiromitsu retorted back. That's all he did though before his concentration was back on the table. A few moments later, he had already pocketed the balls that needed to be pocketed, and was standing back up. "Alright, I'm the winner of the game."

"So quick? Too bad," Wataru said. "I was enjoying the view." He just chuckled when Hiromitsu glowered at him. "But since you didn't disagree with me earlier..." Wataru reached out and wrapped an arm around Hiromitsu's waist. Pulling the other flushed against him, he smirked. "I can do anything I want to you now."

Hiromitsu somehow managed to put away his cue. Then he looked around the place, hoping no one notice what they were doing. "You really need to learn how to control your hormones. Could you stop thinking about sex for once when we were out together?" He raised an eyebrow at Wataru.

"It's not my fault you're so sexy and tempting?" Wataru raised his eyebrow back at Hiromitsu. Biting down on the other's earlobe, he murmured, "It's been a while anyways, right? So what do you say about coming over to my house tonight? I'll be the only one at home tonight, conveniently."

"If I didn't know any better," Hiromitsu muttered, "then I would say you planned this all along." He pushed Wataru's lips away from his ear, but kept a hand wrapped loosely Wataru's neck. "Fine, I'll stay over. You're going to die though if you do anything overboard. We have work tomorrow."

Wataru could almost hear Hiromitsu's unspoken words. 'Like what you did with Taisuke.' Wataru decided to ignore it though, his mind not willing to process those words and its meaning at the moment. "Alright," Wataru breathed against Hiromitsu's skin. "Let's go then."

He was only interested in looking at Hiromitsu, and no one else.



Even though Hiromitsu hadn't seemed too interested, Wataru couldn't help but grin into the kiss as they tried to make their way further into the house without losing any pieces of clothing just yet. Though Wataru supposed he could be blamed for it, not being able to keep his hands off Hiromitsu on their way from the station.

Almost tripping over Hiromitsu's feet, Wataru was sort of surprised they managed to make it to his room without really bumping into and destroying anything. The moment he kicked the door close with his foot, he started to work on Hiromitsu's shirt, pulling the clothing upwards.

Within the few feet from the door to his bed, they both managed to lose their shirts and the buttons on their jeans were already loosened and zippers pulled down. Feeling the edge of his bed, Wataru broke their kiss for a moment to push Hiromitsu down on the mattress before quickly crawling on top of the other.

"I believe you said I could anything I want to you if you win the game, right?" Wataru murmured, lips tugging upwards into a smirk. Before Hiromitsu could protest though, Wataru continued, "And yes, I remember, nothing too extreme that would ruin work for you tomorrow."

"Jerk," Hiromitsu hissed, but that quickly turned into a moan when he felt Wataru's hand inside his boxers and fisting his member a few times. He made a sound and gripped Wataru's shoulders tightly as Wataru now pulled off his boxers, gave him one more teasing stroke and stopped.

"You were saying?" Wataru grinned. He drew a circle around Hiromitsu's nipple once, then twice and leaned down to bite on the hardened nub lightly. Sneaking a glance at Hiromitsu, Wataru snickered to himself before doing the same to the other nipple, blowing a stream of cold air on to it afterwards.

Hiromitsu groaned, pushing his chest upwards. "Damn you, Wataru." Hands sliding down, he started to push Wataru's boxers off as well, trying his best to just brush against Wataru's skin and not really touch the other, just to tease the other back. Once Wataru's boxers were off, Hiromitsu threw it away to somewhere.

Wataru just out a soft hum in amusement. "Be patient, Hiro. We're getting to the interesting part." He gave Hiromitsu a short, but bruising kiss before grabbing Hiromitsu's wrists and trapping his hands above his head. "I think I like you completely helpless underneath me, Hiro."

Hiromitsu immediately glared at Wataru. "What the fuck? Let go of me, Wataru! I'm not playing along with your kinks, okay!?" He struggled and tried to push Wataru away, but Wataru was stronger and after a while, Hiromitsu gave up. "Just what the fuck do you want to do?"

A teasing grin on his face, Wataru replied, "You said you didn't want me to do something extreme that would make you unable to work properly tomorrow, so I thought I'd take my time tonight to get to know your body very well." He purred at the end, sliding a hand down Hiromitsu's chest.

"What on ea-" Hiromitsu tried to figure just what did Wataru mean, but the other didn't give him a chance, pressing their lips together and pushing his tongue pass Hiromitsu's lips immediately. A while later, Hiromitsu was whimpering, trying to get his wrists free of Wataru's hold.

"Shi-" Hiromitsu gasped and squirmed when he felt Wataru drag his nail lightly down his erection. "Wataru, stop teasing, damn it!" If this was what Wataru meant when he said to know his body better, Hiromitsu never wanted the other to get to know his body again.

Wataru smirked. "Why not? It's really helping me to get to know your sensitive spots." He moved his finger further down, just poking lightly against Hiromitsu's hole. He had been doing this for the past few minutes, longer even. Just touching Hiromitsu really lightly all over and enjoying Hiromitsu's reactions.

Hiromitsu swore and bucked his hips when Wataru pushed his finger a little further in. "Wataru," he hissed, turning his body to press and rub against Wataru's, "screw it, just fuck me, okay? Stop teasing me." His erection was starting to feel painful and he squirmed more, trying to ease the feeling, even if it was just a little.

Chuckling, Wataru said, "Don't regret it, Hiromitsu. You're the one who said it, not me." Keeping his hand on Hiromitsu's wrists, Wataru got up slightly to grab a bottle of lube from his drawer. It was a bit hard opening it with one hand, but he managed somehow and squeezed some of the cool gel out.

"Don't expect much foreplay," Wataru growled lightly. To be honest, teasing Hiromitsu for so long was also quite torturous for him and Wataru had been longing to just slam into Hiromitsu hard. He slicked himself first, then pushed three fingers right into Hiromitsu, pulling them in and out a few times.

In response to the sounds that Hiromitsu was making, Wataru let out his own low moan, or perhaps, it was a growl. Quickly, keeping Hiromitsu's hands still above his head though, Wataru settled between Hiromitsu's legs, pushing them apart with his own. With a thrust of his hips, he pushed into Hiromitsu fully at once.

"Wataru...!" Groaning Hiromitsu's name back in response, Wataru didn't wait for Hiromitsu to adjust and started to thrust into the other, slowly at first, then quickly gaining speed. Their foreplay hadn't been long, but it had been teasing and torturous enough that they both knew they wouldn't last long.

Finally, Wataru let go of Hiromitsu's wrists, and one of Hiromitsu's hands immediately flew down to his own member, stroking himself at the same pace as Wataru's thrusts. His other hand dug its nails into Wataru's shoulder as Hiromitsu moaned, arching his back upwards.

"God, Hiro, you're so tight...!" A few more thrusts, Wataru came into Hiromitsu. He crushed their lips together and helped Hiromitsu by wrapping his hand over the other's. A muffled moan and whimper, Hiromitsu came as well, white substance splattering on to their hands and Hiromitsu's abdomen.

Some time later, Wataru pulled out of Hiromitsu reluctantly with a soft grunt. He grabbed a box of tissue and was about to help Hiromitsu clean up when the other took the tissue and started doing so himself. Wataru looked at the other for a moment before wiping himself clean and lying back down.

They never cuddled after sex. Wataru wouldn't mind being a little closer, but Hiromitsu didn't seem to be too willing about it. It was moments like this that Wataru would think about how things might be different if he was Taisuke. He could imagine Hiromitsu taking Taisuke into his arms and the two would fall asleep like that.

Wataru wondered if that day will ever come, for him to be able to hold Hiromitsu in his arms and fall asleep together. Just then, a familiar ringtone was heard and Wataru got up. It was his cellphone. Finding his discarded pair of jeans, he pulled out his cellphone and found a message waiting for him to be read.

The moment he opened the message, Wataru couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the image that popped up. Taisuke was making a funny face with a peace sign visible in the photo. Senga was right beside him, though the younger one's face was half cut-off. Wataru wondered what the two were doing to be sending photos like that to him.

Sounds of sheets shifting were heard and Wataru heard Hiromitsu behind him, leaning closer. "What is it?" Wataru was tempted to hide his cellphone away from Hiromitsu, not wanting the other to see, but was too late, and he watched a soft smile that was just for Taisuke form on Hiromitsu's face.

A month ago, Wataru would have never imagined he could be jealous of his best friend.






Author's Notes: Kira, stop reading my mind. =( Without you telling me, this part was going to be YoMitsu from the start anyways. And yes, a third part! =O I told you, this prompt got epic. >>'' I wasn't kidding! Yes, I had it all planned from the start. A multi-chaptered thingy in disguise of related one-shots. If that made any sense. Something like that.

Wataru doesn't do angst well. =S He's not as emo as Taisuke, and not as...sensitive as Hiro. So you get this. 中途半端なangst? //whacked// But yea, it's not that angsty...? //pokes Wataru// But I suppose that's a good thing? Too much angst might make it melodramatic or something, and this gives you a slight rest...? Somewhat? Just hints here and there, not as heavy as previous two parts. I think. Or well, you guys can prove me wrong.

Clearly, I don't know how to play billiards. =X And like, clearly Wataru is an idiot, a pervert, kind of blind and slow to certain things and like...why does Wataru often turn out to be like this in my fics? I still love you though, Wataru.

My stories have to stop writing themselves smoothly for the first like 5 pages, then like only let me write one paragraph every like half an hour for the rest of the chapter. It's annoying. =.=

Comments are love and appreciated~

Tags: group: kis-my-ft2, pairing: kitafuji, pairing: yomitsu, pairing: yosuke, topic: je, ~fan-fic
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