Author: Shattered Tenshi
Pairing: Yokoo Wataru x Fujigaya Taisuke, Kitayama Hiromitsu x Fujigaya Taisuke, Yokoo Wataru x Kitayama Hiromitsu
Warnings: Angst, lots of unrequited love
Notes: As requested by/dedicated to kira_shadow.
From the Beginning | There was No Hope | Only Despair | And With No Love | Where is the Happiness | For the Three of Us
Where is the Happiness
By Shattered Tenshi
When Hiromitsu realized that Taisuke had left the room, he knew there was something wrong. He wasn't worried about Taisuke being physically hurt though. It was the emotional side that he was worried about. Was the game between them finally coming to an end?
Hiromitsu looked over to Wataru who was asking Tamamori where Taisuke had went. Did the other realize what he did – though unintentional – had hurt Taisuke? Having only Hiromitsu in his eyes. Hiromitsu wondered just how many times Taisuke had witness something similar to this. Maybe this was the last straw.
Seeing Yokoo skating back towards him, Hiromitsu quickly reached out and tugged Wataru towards the side. "You idiot," he hissed, "do you realize what you have done?" He ignored the surprised look he got from Wataru. The other really was blind to these things.
"Hiro?" Wataru blinked. "What did I do this time? If you're trying to say I forgot about Tai-chan, I didn't! He already got up and went to the washroom when I looked. There's...nothing wrong with that, right?" His voice got a little weaker at the end from the look Hiromitsu was giving him.
Hiromitsu shook his head in frustration. "Yokoo, can't you be a little more sensitive? You did look for Taisuke, but you were too late. Don't you realize there is timing to these things?" They had never talked about their relationships like this before, and certainly not at work.
To think they were talking about this because of such a small thing too. Just because Hiromitsu and Taisuke crashed and fell on to the floor during practice. He was now teaching Wataru how to treat Taisuke? What kind of irony was this? Hiromitsu just wanted Taisuke to be happy though.
That's when he noticed Taisuke coming back into the rehearsal. Should he confront the other now? Hiromitsu wasn't sure if it was a good time to do so. He looked back at Wataru and wanted to sigh in frustration at the confused look that was still on the other's face.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the dance instructor made them start rehearsal again, and there wasn't a chance to talk to Taisuke at all. After rehearsal, Taisuke disappeared quite quickly, and when he was about to leave, members of A.B.C. came up to him. "Hiro, want to go out for dinner?"
When Hiromitsu saw Nikaido coming up behind them, dragging Wataru along, he had a feeling that this was an invitation that he cannot refuse.
Taisuke was somewhat surprised that Takizawa actually brought him home. Considering how the other was his senpai, he thought the other would have just scolded him instead of listening to him. Not to mention, Takizawa was actually carrying him in his arms right now.
When the other set him down on the couch and was about to move away, Taisuke quickly wrapped his arms around Takizawa's neck. He stared into the other's eyes. "You brought me home...yet you're not going to do anything?" His eyebrows furrowed together.
"Bringing you home doesn't mean I have to do anything," Takizawa replied. He tried to move Taisuke's arms away but Taisuke refused to budge. "More like, are you sure you want me to do anything to you? I don't think you were at the club just because you wanted to have fun."
"Says who?" Taisuke replied with a small frown. He didn't like how Takizawa read him so easily. "I'm serious, Takizawa-kun." He pulled Takizawa further down and pressed their lips together. After a few seconds, he pulled back and said, "Ne, Takizawa-kun, take me?"
Takizawa shook his head and really used his strength to push Taisuke away this time. "I think you should spend some time alone and calm down, Fujigaya." He grabbed a blanket from somewhere and placed it over Taisuke. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"
Taisuke bit down on his lip. Some time alone? That's the thing he didn't want the most. Being alone meant thinking and once he started thinking, he'll just remember the concerned eyes of Wataru, only taking in Hiromitsu and no one else. His heart would only ache, and that's why he didn't want to be alone.
Sitting up on the couch, Taisuke pulled the blanket around him and dropped his forehead to his knees, curling up on the couch. If Takizawa didn't find him in the club, he wondered what he would be doing right now? Should he be glad that Takizawa did find him? He wasn't sure.
Fluttering his eyes closed, Taisuke didn't hear Takizawa as if talking to someone, probably on the phone. He didn't notice anything until Takizawa placed a hand on his shoulder and he quickly lifted his head. "Here, have a cup of tea, Fujigaya," Takizawa said, handing him a cup.
Taisuke looked at Takizawa for a few seconds before slowly reaching out, taking the cup from the other. He didn't drink from it, just keeping his hands wrapped around the cup. He tilted his head and asked, "Takizawa-kun, are you sure you don't want to do anything with me?"
Takizawa laughed lightly. "I'm sure, Fujigaya. Even if I want to, I'm sure there will be people who won't be happy if I touch you." The first person that came to Taisuke's mind was Hiromitsu, but for some reason, Taisuke thought the other was talking about someone else, and he wasn't sure who it was.
Seeing how Taisuke wasn't being too responsive, Takizawa got up. "I'll be in my room then. If you need anything, just call me, okay?" With that, he walked away. Taisuke wrinkled his nose and put down his cup on the coffee table. Takizawa was just going to let his guest sit around like this? That wasn't very nice.
Taisuke just remained there though, trying not to think about Wataru and Hiromitsu, but failing mostly. He wasn't sure how much time has passed, when suddenly the doorbell rang. That made him jump a little. It was late, so who could be visiting Takizawa at this hour? Should he stay here or hide?
Before Taisuke could decide on what to do though, Takizawa had already stepped out of his room and headed towards the door. Taisuke heard the door being open and murmurings of incoherent words before a familiar figure stepped into the living room, looking worriedly at him.
"T-Tsubasa-nii..." Taisuke blinked. Takizawa had contacted the other about him then? He shifted on the couch uncomfortably and lowered his head. He could almost see the look of disapproval that Tsubasa would give him. Curling up a little tighter, he buried his face against his knees.
Taisuke felt the couch sink down as presumably, Tsubasa sat down beside him. A hand stroked his hair gently, and soon, Tsubasa spoke, "Taisuke, what's wrong? Takizawa told me you were acting weird. Did something happen? Can't you tell me about it?"
Not giving a reply, Taisuke remained curled up on the couch. Should he tell Tsubasa? It was something between him, Hiromitsu and Wataru, and no one else should know about it, but he was sure people were starting to notice no matter how much they tried to be conspicuous about it. He was scared of what Tsubasa might think about him.
"Maybe I should leave you two alone," Takizawa said and was about to got up when Taisuke's hand shot out and grabbed Takizawa's wrist, reaching over Tsubasa. He lifted his head to look at the other two, and the look on his face probably already spoke volumes, so Takizawa sat back down.
Slowly letting go of Takizawa's wrist, Taisuke didn't speak for a few moments. Seeing that, Tsubasa and Takizawa didn't say anything either, just waiting for Taisuke to be ready to speak. "Ne, Tsubasa-nii," Taisuke started softly. "Don't you think people who use other people are the worst?"
Tsubasa paused for a second. "Aren't everyone like that at times though? Whether we mean to or not, we use people directly or indirectly. It depends on how you use them that would decide whether you're the worst or not." He rested a hand on Taisuke's back gently.
"Really?" Taisuke stared at something on the wall opposite of the couch. "I think people who use other people's feelings are the worst," he murmured. "Like me. I'm a really bad person, Tsubasa-nii..." Maybe they were better off suffering on their own, instead of coming together like that.
Takizawa wanted to say something, but Tsubasa lifted a hand and stopped the other. "Taisuke? Why do you say that? You're not like that. You're not a bad person at all. I know that. You don't call me your older brother for nothing, right?" Tsubasa's eyebrows knitted together with worry.
"That's only because Tsubasa-nii, you don't know." Taisuke tightened his fingers as they gripped the blanket over him. "I used Hiro's feelings so I can get to Wataru. From the moment Hiro confessed to me, I knew. Hiro is kind, so he'll do anything for me. That's why I suggested that game, so I can be closer to Wataru..."
Both Tsubasa and Takizawa were confused now. They had no idea what Taisuke was talking about, other than the fact it sounded complicated. Takizawa gave Tsubasa a look, and the other nodded. "Taisuke, what game?" Tsubasa asked softly. "What are you talking about?"
Taisuke blinked, feeling his eyes turning glassy. "If Hiro didn't like me, if I didn't like Wataru, and Wataru didn't like Hiro...then things wouldn't have turned out this way. We would have been just really good friends, without all these complicated feelings."
Tsubasa started to stroke Taisuke's back, encouraging the other to go on silently. "But we did fall in love...deep enough that we can no longer ignore our feelings. That's why I suggested that game. To lie to ourselves and to lie others. That way, we can be with the person we like."
Shifting a little, Taisuke leaned against Tsubasa. "Hiro will go out with Wataru if Wataru will go out with me, and in return, I'll go out with Hiro. I wonder how long it has been since we started. I'm losing count," Taisuke murmured. "But, in Wataru’s eyes, I just can't match up to Hiro after all..."
When Taisuke started to sob lightly, Tsubasa wrapped his arms around Taisuke and comforted the other. He wanted to ask Taisuke why did he start such a silly game, but they were in love, and certainly people in love would do things like that. Takizawa could nothing but watch.
"I'm the one who started the game, and if I end the game here, I feel so selfish, but...but it hurts so much, it's so tiring. Even when we're alone, I know when Wataru is thinking about Hiro," Taisuke said between sobs. "And I can't go on with Hiro like this, knowing how much I can hurt him."
Tsubasa tightened his arms around Taisuke. "Taisuke, there's nothing wrong with you thinking this way. You said you were a bad person, but I don't think so at all. You care about them, don't you? That's enough. And if you're tired, then stop this. Before you can love someone, you should take care of yourself properly, Taisuke."
Burying his face against Tsubasa's shoulder, Taisuke started really crying, clinging on to the other. At the sight of that, Takizawa frowned and wrapped his arms around both Tsubasa and Taisuke. A while later, maybe a long while, Taisuke's cries have finally died down.
"He's asleep," Tsubasa murmured as he pulled back, nudging Takizawa at the same time to give him some space. He placed a hand on Taisuke's forehead. "He might be getting a light fever too, from all the stress," Tsubasa said with a soft sigh, stroking Taisuke's hair.
"What to do now then?" Takizawa asked. He took hold of Taisuke carefully when Tsubasa moved to get up. He stood up as well and grabbed a cushion to act as a pillow for Taisuke, lying the other down on the couch. "We'll need to contact his family, right? Should we bring him home or leave him here?"
Tsubasa looked at the clock. "It's late though." He thought about it. "I have an idea. Find me Taisuke's cellphone, will you?" He didn't answer Takizawa's question about what he was going to do and looked at the lone cup on the coffee table that he assumed was Taisuke's and sighed again.
Takizawa shook his head and search through Taisuke's bag. Finding the other's cellphone, he handed it to Tsubasa before going back to Taisuke's side, crouching by the other's side. He brushed his lips against Taisuke's forehead. "See, Fujigaya? Tsubasa will definitely not be happy if I touch his precious brother," he murmured.
On the other hand, Tsubasa quickly typed a message after finding a certain someone's contact on Taisuke's cellphone. Having talked to Taisuke more than a few times, he was sure Taisuke trust this person a lot. It didn't take very long for Taisuke's cellphone to ring and on the other end, a hesitant voice said, "Imai-san?"
"Yes, this is Imai Tsubasa. Yuusuke-kun?" When he got the confirmation he needed, Tsubasa smiled a little. "It's like I said in the mail. Taisuke doesn't feel very well at the moment, so I'll bring him back tomorrow morning. I didn't want his family to worry, but it was late, so I couldn't call directly."
Tsubasa could almost see Yuusuke's confused look, even though he had yet to meet the other. "Is there something wrong with Taisuke-nii? He's been a little off recently. There's nothing wrong at work, right? Do...do you know anything, Imai-san?" Yuusuke's voice was filled with worry and hesitation.
The Fujigaya siblings did get along really well, Tsubasa decided. Yuusuke also realized that there was something wrong with Taisuke, but it was something that Tsubasa knew he shouldn't speak of now on the phone, without Taisuke's permission. "Yuusuke-kun, I have a favour to ask of you, for Taisuke's sake."
There was a pause before the voice became determined, "If it's for Taisuke-nii's sake, then I'll do it."
Hiromitsu decided it was very hard to eat dinner when surrounded by so many pairs of curious or worrying eyes. He wondered if Wataru was feeling the same way considering how the other was in the same position as him. He looked at the people around him and let out an inaudible sigh.
Twisting a good amount of spaghetti on to his fork, Hiromitsu tried to ignore them and eat, however, that's not what the others were planning. "So, Hiro, Yokoo, ready to tell us what's wrong with you guys?" Goseki was to first to speak, but soon, the others were saying things as well, creating a jumble of words.
A sigh slipping from his lips, Hiromitsu glanced at Wataru, sitting across from him. Their friends noticed after all. He wondered why they left Taisuke out though. Or was it just because Taisuke left before they could drag him over? While Hiromitsu was thankful that his friends were worried about them, he didn't want to say anything.
Giving Wataru a glance, he could see the other was probably thinking the same thing. "Look, guys, I'm sorry we made you worried, but..." Nikaido slipped in a cheeky comment here, and Hiromitsu just gave him a look. "This is between me, Wataru and Taisuke. I want to try solving it between the three of us, okay?"
"Not okay," Kawai said before Wataru could even agree to Hiromitsu's words. "If you guys can solve it on your own, I doubt you'd be like this at the moment." He glanced at the rest of the group before continuing, "We don't know what exactly is the problem, but we can't just sit here and do nothing either."
This time, Wataru was the one who spoke up. "I'm sorry for worrying you guys, and we're thankful...but we were the ones who got into the mess ourselves, so let us try solving it on our own first?" The look he gave Hiromitsu was intense, as if he was trying his best to tell Hiromitsu his feelings.
Miyata frowned. "Are you sure? I don't know when this started, but it should have been a while already, right? Taisuke-kun didn't look very well today either..." Totsuka muttered something in agreement, and Miyata went on, "The rest of our groups might not be here right now, but they're noticing things as well."
Hand clenching into a fist, Hiromitsu lowered his head for a moment. His friends were important to him, and he hated to make them this worry, but the relationship between them was so complicated, he wasn't sure where someone else can step in. Letting out yet another inaudible sigh, he made a decision.
"I understand," Hiromitsu said, raising his head up. "Wataru and I really do want to do something about this, but it's between the three of us, and we haven't really tried to solve anything yet. We were...trying something out, but it's not working out, it seems," he admitted.
Looking at everyone in the group briefly, Hiromitsu continued, "Wataru and I are going to talk to Taisuke about this. We're going to, so...believe in us? We'll definitely tell you guys what's going on afterwards, and ask you guys for help if we need it. We just...can't do it now."
Wataru looked at Hiromitsu like he didn't want to accept the other's decision, but he should have realized there was no other choice, not when their group members and friends have sensed their strangers. The rest of the group didn't seem to agree either, but at Hiromitsu's determined look, they could nothing but go along with it.
Hiromitsu just hoped Wataru and he could actually talk to Taisuke properly about this.
Author's Notes: I...have no idea what to say. Um, well, I'm doing pretty well with updating this once a week? Lol. It's obvious the fan-fic is reaching a certain point though. Whether it's close to an end or not, I'll keep it a secret. X3
Oh, and in response to a few comments from last time...yes, they are breaking down pretty fast. If they weren't busy and got to go on more dates or something like that, I think the game would end even sooner. >>'' And yea, it's kind of on purpose that Wataru kind of took the position that makes him not so likeable. His stubbornness just might be overwhelming ne? And um...well, I'd analyze all three of them, but it's not the end of the fic yet, so lol, I'll leave that till later.
Comments are love and appreciated~