Kaji | カジ (shatteredtenshi) wrote,
Kaji | カジ

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Tears - Part Four

Title: Tears
Author: Shattered Tenshi
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: JE
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Yokoo Wataru x Fujigaya Taisuke, Kitayama Hiromitsu x Fujigaya Taisuke
Warnings: Hm...nothing much this chapter...

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

By Shattered Tenshi

Part Four

When Taisuke woke up, the sky outside had already darken, indicating that he has been sleeping for a while. He could feel someone touching his hair as he slowly fluttered his eyes open.


Taisuke couldn't stop blinking his eyes in surprise when he realized the one who was sitting on bed, who was stroking his hair, was the person who has been on his mind almost this whole time. He shifted on his bed and sat up.

Yokoo quickly grabbed his pillow and propped it up so that Taisuke can rest against it. "Did you get enough rest?" he asked as he ran his fingers through Taisuke's hair again.

A light shade of red appeared on Taisuke's face as he just slowly nodded his head, trying to react properly to Yokoo’s touch. He looked around the room and asked, "Where's Hiro?"

"What? You want to be with Hiro more than me?" Yokoo asked in a joking voice, withdrawing his hand.

His eyes widening slightly, Taisuke quickly shook his head. "No! That's not what I meant." His voice died down slightly. "I...it's just Hiro was here with me when I went to sleep..."

Yokoo chuckled. "I was just joking, Tai-chan." He patted Taisuke on the head. "Hiro already went back home. His mom called him and he couldn't stay."

"Oh..." Taisuke looked down at his lap and started twisting his blanket with his fingers.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Yokoo finally spoke up again. "Tai-chan..."

"Hm?" Taisuke looked up and nearly flinched back when he realized how close the other was, trying to look straight into his eyes. He lowered his gaze and mumbled, "What is it?"

Frowning, Yokoo placed two fingers underneath Taisuke's chin and force the younger one to look at him in the eyes. "Tai-chan, are you alright?"

As he squirmed, Taisuke pushed Yokoo's hand away, the other’s touch causing his heart to pound too loudly in his ears. "I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?"

"But you fell asleep on the streets!" Yokoo exclaimed. "If you were so tired, then you didn't have to promise to go out with me for dinner. You should have just gone home. I would have understood..." He placed a hand over Taisuke's fidgeting fingers. "Is there anything wrong that's making you lack sleep, Tai-chan?"

Warning bells started to ring all over in Taisuke's head. He wanted to pull his hand back, but was worried that would make Yokoo question him even more. Trying not to shiver, because Yokoo's touch did that to him, and reminding himself that Yokoo saw it as a caring gesture, he shook his head. "It's nothing really. I just couldn't sleep properly these past few days. Nothing's wrong, Wataru."

"Are you sure?" Without looking, Taisuke knew Yokoo must be sending a worried and suspicious look in his direction.

Taisuke nodded his head quickly, darting his eyes around, not wanting to meet Yokoo in the eyes.

"Tai-chan..." There was a warning in the other's voice.

"What?" Taking a deep breath, Taisuke met Yokoo's gaze stubbornly. "Nothing is wrong. I'll sleep properly now."

Yokoo frowned and gripped Taisuke's hand tightly. "Well, you better. Otherwise I'll stalk you each night to make sure you're sleeping well."

Taisuke's face turned red. "Don't stalk me. Please." He was amazed he got that out without stuttering. If Yokoo did start stalking him, certainly his secret will...

Laughing, Yokoo shook his head. "Fine. Fine. I won't stalk you. Just make sure you sleep well. I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself but," he used his other hand to start stroking Taisuke's hair again, "you really did get me worried last night. If anything's wrong, remember to come talk to me, okay, Tai-chan?"

Taisuke nodded his head, though he knew that was one thing he'll never do. He lowered his head as he tried to blink back the wetness that seemed to be invading his eyes. Yokoo was being too nice to him once again. He didn't want to cry in front of Yokoo. It would only make the other question him again. He didn't need that.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door. "Yokoo-kun...? Ah...Taisuke, you're awake."

Quickly snatching his hand away from Yokoo's grip, Taisuke gave his mother a small smile. "Okaasan."

"I was just about to tell Yokoo-kun to come down and eat something. Since you're awake, come down as well. I made hamburgers tonight." She smiled at the two and left the door open as she headed back downstairs.

Standing up, Yokoo offered his hand to Taisuke. "Let's go down then?"

Taisuke stared at Yokoo for a few seconds before slowly reaching out and grabbing Yokoo's hand. Once he got up, he pushed Yokoo out of the room. "You go down first. I want to wash my face first."

Yokoo raised his eyebrow, but nodded anyways. "Just come as quickly as possible. You know how much I like your mom's hamburgers." He grinned. "Don't complain when I don't leave any for you."

Taisuke just smiled. "Hai. I'll be quick." With another motion of his hand, he watched Yokoo go down the stairs before heading to the bathroom.

Once he was in the bathroom, Taisuke let out a shuddery breath. It was so hard to act normally when Yokoo was acting like that around him. He gripped his own hand and could almost feel Yokoo's warmth still on it. He hated how Yokoo can be touchy with people sometimes. It made him jealous when Yokoo was like that with other people, but it made his heart go all over the place when Yokoo does it to him.

The longer he's hiding his feelings from Yokoo, the harder it gets to hide his feelings. Sometimes he wished he wasn't in love with Yokoo, but perhaps with Kitayama. Then maybe everything wouldn't have turned out this way. He ran his fingers over his inner thigh, almost feeling the bumpiness of his small scars underneath his fingertips.

Clenching his hands into fists, he took a deep breath. Then he turned on the tap and started splashing water on his face. He had to act normally in front of his family and Yokoo.

There was no way he'd let anyone know of his secrets and feelings.

Yamashita had to raise an eyebrow when he noticed a familiar figure peeking into the rehearsal room. Walking up to the person, he cleared his throat. "So, you're worried about him too?"

Koki jumped slightly and snapped his head around. "Yamapi." He let out a sigh of relief. "You scared me there."

Yamashita chuckled. "And why? Are you peeking at something inappropriate?"

Nearly choking, Koki slapped Yamashita on the shoulder. "Of course not." He stuck his thumb towards the rehearsal room. "Like those chibis would be doing anything inappropriate in there." He lowered his hand and sent a worried look inside. "I...just didn't want to explain to anyone why I'm here. That's all."

Following Koki's gaze, Yamashita nodded his head. "I know what you mean..."

Without looking Yamashita, Koki said, "He...looks fine though right? They're practicing now...but before, he was laughing with Senga and them. I still don't understand why he did that."

"You can't expect to know everything about him. His members who he hangs out with every day, I doubt they know everything either." Yamashita watched as Kis-My-Ft2 ran through the routine of their song, his eyes mainly on Taisuke. "At least he looks well-rested for the moment."

Koki nodded in agreement. "He does."

As Yamashita watched Taisuke, he wondered if he should tell Koki what happened after they had dropped him off at the station that day. He knew he shouldn't be telling Taisuke's secret to anyone, but it had to be part of the reason why the younger one was hurting himself.

"Heh. Taisuke is pretty popular with the chibis."

Shaking out of his reverie, Yamashita looked at Taisuke again and understood what Koki meant. Chuckling, he shook his head. The moment Kis-My-Ft2 had finished going through their routine, the Morimoto brothers, Kyoumoto and Chinen had all ran towards Taisuke. "I don't think pretty popular covers it."

Continuing to watch, Yamashita blinked when he slowly noticed something. "Koki..."


"Is it just me...or...there's something...I don't know, just something about this picture..." Yamashita furrowed his eyebrows together.

Koki gave him a confused look. "Huh?"

"Yamashita-kun! Koki-kun! Konnichiwa!"

The two turned at the new voice. "Oh, Yuuto. Hey." Yamashita smiled and Koki reached out to ruffle Yuuto's hair.

Yuuto tilted his head. "What are you doing here?"

Yamashita paused for a second before asking, "Yuuto, can you do me a favour?"

Yuuto blinked in surprise, but nodded his head anyways. "Sure. What is it?"

Pointing into the room, Yamashita said, "Call Kitayama-kun for me. Be a bit discreet about it, will you? I don't want all those juniors to know Koki and I are here."

Without questioning why, Yuuto just nodded his head and ran back into the rehearsal room.

Koki asked, "Why Kitayama? Do you think he knows something?" He turned his head. "I would expect Yokoo to know more about Taisuke than Kitayama..."

Yamashita just shook his head. He knew if anything, Yokoo would be the last person to know what's going on with Taisuke. That is, if he guessed things correctly. When Kitayama started to walk towards them, he could see the other raising an eyebrow wondering what the two had to talk to him for. After all, despite going to and graduation from the same high school, they weren't too close of friends at all.

"Yamashita-kun. Koki-kun." Kitayama inclined his head towards them. "You wanted to talk to me?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Koki shook his head and pointed at Yamashita. "He did. Not me."

Motioning the two to follow him, Yamashita found an empty conference room and entered it, closing the door behind. "I...I got something to ask you, Kitayama-kun."

Kitayama furrowed his eyebrows together. "What is it?"

"About Taisuke..."

Almost immediately, Kitayama turned defensive on them. "I got nothing to say. You guys can ask Tai-chan himself if you want to know anything." He made a move to walk out of the room.

Yamashita frowned and quickly grabbed Kitayama's arm. "No. Don't go. I want to know more about Yokoo and Taisuke."

Mentioning the two names together successfully stopped Kitayama from moving any further. He eyed Yamashita, then Koki suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

Giving a look to Koki, making sure the other won't talk just yet, Yamashita said, "It's kind of obvious. I was watching you guys from outside and...Taisuke keeps on glancing at Yokoo while you keep on glancing at Taisuke. There's...something between you guys right? That's why Taisuke's having trouble sleeping and..." He stopped after that. He didn't know if Kitayama knew about that as well after all.

Kitayama turned his head away. "I don't have anything to tell you."

"Please, Kitayama-kun. I...we're just worried about Taisuke. We want to help him too."

Snorting, Kitayama shook his head. "You can't help him. Taisuke doesn't want anyone's help." He softened his voice. "Not even mine..."

Yamashita didn't know what to say. He wanted to ask Kitayama more, but the more he says, the more he felt like he was betraying Taisuke's trust. He sighed and let go of Kitayama's arm. "He's...doing well right now at least? No more falling asleep randomly?"

Kitayama shook his head. "I make him take naps whenever he looks too tired when there are breaks during rehearsals and stuff. He...he should be fine." He paused. "Wataru looks after him as well."

As he nodded his head, Yamashita said, "That's good."

"I have to go back to rehearsal now. Shitsureshimasu."

"Wait." Yamashita stopped the other from going.

Kitayama turned his head to look at them. "What is it?"

Yamashita swallowed. "Kitayama-kun, do you know what Taisuke is doing to himself?"

There was a pause before Kitayama gave them a bitter smile and left the room.

Koki took a few seconds to run through everything that just happened in the short period of time before speaking up, "Yamapi, was...what just happened?"

Yamashita didn't answer him and just clenched his hand into a fist, biting down on his lip. It seemed like the whole situation was more complicated than he thought, and he had no idea how to help Taisuke at all.

Trying to figure things out on his own, Koki mumbled to himself, "So both Kitayama and Yokoo have something to do with Taipi? Taipi was watching Yokoo while Kitayama was watching Taipi. Why does this sound like..."

"A love drama?" Yamashita finished Koki’s thought. He sighed. "It is a love drama. Kinda."

Koki's eyes widened. "You mean Yokoo...Taipi? Taipi and Yokoo? Wait, where does Kitayama fit into this..." His voice faded. "Shit. That's complicated."

"That might be an understatement."

"Wait. If Kitayama knows about everything, then why isn't he stopping Taipi? He must be able to influence Taipi more than that right?" Koki made a sound of frustration. "Now that I know about everything...or at least nearly everything, I feel useless. How can we help Taisuke?"

Yamashita shook his head. "It's not as easy as it seems. Knowing Taisuke, he's pretty stubborn. And perhaps, Kitayama just wants to keep Taisuke by his side as well..." he said softly. "He wants Taisuke to rely on him..."

Koki blinked. "What do you mean?"

Shaking his head, Yamashita said, "Nothing."

"What are we going do now then?"

"What can we do?" Yamashita turned the doorknob and stepped out of the room. "With Taisuke...he'll just push us away. We can only wait for him to come to us."

Walking down the hallway, the two stopped at the rehearsal again, looking in.

Koki narrowed his eyes as he watched Yokoo chattering away with Miyata, an arm draped over the boy's shoulders. "If we can't make Taisuke come to us, certainly we can knock some sense into Yokoo right? It seems like he's totally oblivious to everything."

Yamashita just smiled slightly. "Who knows. That might be a good idea..."

Author's Note: I um...no idea what went on this chapter. I mean I planned it and stuff...but I'm not sure how it turned up like that. o.o That whole thing between Yamapi, Hiro and Koki...yea...I wanted that to happen...but what they're saying...does it make sense to anyone?! Because it feels weird to me. X3;;

I seem to be on a roll with writing this week? Though this chapter is shorter than the rest...mainly because there's not much going on. X3;; I need to start figuring some details for next chapter...but that's not the next thing I'm going to write. //gets bricked//

What else do I have to say? I can't quite remember. X3;;

//pets Taisuke//

Comments are love~

Part Five

Tags: fan-fic: tears, group: kis-my-ft2, pairing: kitafuji, pairing: yosuke, topic: je, ~fan-fic

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